After spending way too much time in recovery after throat surgery, I had to get out of town. October and November are some of my favorite times living in Arizona because the weather drops from 100 degrees to about 60. Nights drop incredibly and day times are short sleeve weather. After fall break when we return to work, it’s dark when I drive into work and dark when Claire gets out of karate and swim several of the week nights.

Over break I wasn’t really cleared for travelling or even lifting anything but by the third week in October, I had to get out of town. I put on my calendar “getting out of town” and told Donna to get in the truck if she wanted to go. I’d planned a trip to either Willow Springs Lake or Christopher Creek to go camping, and then I contacted the park ranger. She suggested we stay in Christopher Creek because the rim (where the lakes are) were close to freezing temperatures at night.

Throughout the week, Donna became sicker and sicker to the point where she and Dante decided to stay home. (I sure didn’t want them in the tent breathing on me!) Friday Claire and I headed north up the Beeline Highway through Payson, stopped at Subway for lunch and then headed into the woods. Christopher Creek campground was pretty dead, and we wanted to be close enough to the pit toilets that she could go alone but far enough so it didn’t smell too bad. We ended up at the same campsite where we camped the first time she’d ever gone in Oct 2008. We set up camp, paid our $16 (??!) a night, and hung out. As the sun dipped behind Christopher Mountain, it got chillier outside. We made a nice fire and hunkered down in our warm clothes. Claire just kept asking over and over again for Smores, but I told her we had to eat dinner first. We had hotdogs and then later Smores. At about 8:00 o’clock she said she wanted to go to bed so I took her into the tent, but I suddenly realized that there were no adults there so I didn’t have anything to do after she went to bed. I read my magazine in the tent for a little while but it hurt by back so I too went to bed at 8. By 7am we were awake and frigid. Sleeping didn’t bother me in the cold, but it was waking up cold that sucked. I had Claire climb into my bag with me and we told each other stories for an hour before braving the even colder air outside the tent.

We made a small fire to make our oatmeal, and we hung out around camp. I wanted to hit the General Store in Christopher Creek but didn’t think it’d be open too early. We headed over there after 9am and the lady was talking to Claire. After discovering she was 4, she said they were having a Halloween costume parade and trick or treating that night at the local fire department. I said we might be back.

Claire and I wanted to see some fall color, so we drove up a dirt road to some trails where there were Red Maples with leaves still. I was worried that we were about a week late for the leaves, but we definitely saw some back by the creek. She complained about walking even though we were going through a flat meadow, until I realized she needed to go to the bathroom. She freaks out with outhouses but when you gotta go, you gotta go. She finally dropped trou and went on the side of the trail. I buried it and put rocks over the area before we crossed the creek to climb what I thought was a small hill. Turned out it was more like a small mountain. We headed up this thing and I had to toss Claire on my head so she wouldn’t roll down the hillside. The problem was the leaves were very slippery, so we made it about 10′ and found a spot where a blanket of red leaves rolled down the hillside. She and I made like we were sledding and got back down near the creek.

We eventually made it back to the car, salvaged some wood from burn piles that night’s fire, and headed up to the top of Mogollon Rim to Woods Canyon Lake. We got some worms and hoped to fish. After about two hours of not a single bite we decided to head back to camp so Claire could change before the trick or treating. The fire hall was pretty empty when we arrived, and I told Claire to just tell everyone that she was going as a “camper” since she had no costume. After we grabbed some free hotdogs more people began coming, and it turned out that this evening was a big deal. Many people like us were valley people who drove up just for the evening. After the costume parade, they loaded the kids into trailers behind fire pickups and drove us through Christopher Creek to all the cabins. We were out there for about three hours, filling a large bag with candy. Claire loved it, and I’d consider taking her back next year (with a costume this time!)

I had an Arizona Highways magazine at home about cool drives in Arizona, and one of those drives was the 300 Rim Road between 260 and 87. It’s a dirt road that literally runs parallel to the top of the Rim for about 55 miles, and I figured we might find some nice photos of yellow Aspen at the top. Donna and I had made the drive years ago but only part way in to camp. This time I was determined that Claire and I were going all the way across.

Sunday morning we packed the tent and got on the road north after a nice breakfast at Creekside Restaurant. On the 300 we passed right by the Woods Canyon Lake cutoff, which is usually as far as we go. This time I was determined to drive all the way. The road immediately went from paved to dirt and gravel. ATVs and dirt bike riders flew by, and I put my zoom lens and camera next to me on the seat of the truck. Claire was half preoccupied with hiding some of the night before’s candy in the back seat, but she kept putting her window up and down to watch the dust and trees. Occasionally I stopped to get some photos along the Rim and ended up at several key points along the way. I almost drove back to Knohl Lake to check it out, but I wanted to get to Strawberry at a decent hour to see my friend Alan.

There were several campgrounds along the way that we checked out, but I like sites that have a creek or lake close by. I was also hoping to see elk or coyote but we barely even saw any birds. I think Claire enjoyed the ride, and we did find a few stands of yellowed leaf aspen. I shot a few hundred pictures before we pulled onto 87 towards Strawberry.

Alan lives in the woods, and he’s never really home; this weekend he just happened to be there so Claire and I stopped at his cabin for a bit before driving into Payson where our friend’s have a cabin (it’s more like their second house). They weren’t there and later said we missed them by minutes (but I know I drive faster than them and we take the same highway home). We rolled into Chandler a few hours later, after our 350 mile, three day adventure together.

Hi everyone. It’s been a few days since I wrote. Tomorrow will mark the 2 week anniversary of my surgery and while I’m not perfect, let me talk to you about the last few days.

By this past weekend I was doing “ok”. Friday night I came in the house and Donna had made a scrumptious beef veggie soup that was mostly corn, kidney beans, green beans and small chunks of beef. I grabbed and small bowl and said what the hell. I sat down and ate very slowly and chewed everything. It tasted like heaven. There were a few times when the left side where the incision pulled open more than the right bugged me, but I ate a two small bowls. It was bliss.

As I mentioned last time, I had two conference presentations this weekend. Friday’s was ok and I had to stop a few times for Lisa (my co-presenter) to take over while I had a drink. By Saturday I had to present myself and I did just fine. After my presentation Saturday, it was lunch time. I just shrugged and got in the lunch line. I took a few slices of lunch meat, some cheese, and a small spinach salad. I sat down with some friends and began to eat. I made sure to stay on the right side of my mouth and actually did well. I was please with myself and by Saturday night I had a light dinner of shredded pork, chicken, and several sorts of beans for protein. I’ve not been hungry really yet, which is great, and I kept the portions small.

Today’s been good. I won’t lie. My throat’s still feeling a little odd. The stitches (which should dissolve anytime now) feel like threads tickling the back of my mouth. Today I left the house for two hours without my water bottle and barely needed it. I also keep taking my painkillers until everything is A-OK.

Tomorrow I return to work bright and early. I think all will be well, but you never know. There’s always that scary idea of bleeding out, and all but I think I am over and out. I even plan to camp in the woods by Friday, carrying heavy stuff, and not worrying about anything except starting a fire. Thank you for sharing this journey with me, and if I don’t write again about this, then all is well. I see the ENT in two weeks, and I have a sleep test in two months. I plan to report back on those, and I hope anything who reads this thread in the future is mollified. If I can do it, and I am feeling great, then you can to. It’s way better than dying early in life with heart attacks and strokes.

Well here I am. Back again. I will begin by saying that all will be well. Claire and I went to the ENT today and I had my list of questions for him. He asked how I’ve been doing and I had my spreadsheet with the schedule for the last week including meds, consumption or food (can you call it that?) and water, and other fun stuff. He began by checking my nose, and I told him about seeing the intubation tube coming out and how my right nostril has bothered me. He pulled out a large pair of tweezers that he stuck into my nostril. He slowly pulled out what looked like a 4 inch long skinny earth worm covered in snotty goo. It felt like he pulled it from my stomach. It was so cool! My nostril felt so much better. He said it was mucous build up from the tubal irritation and that I should use some saline spray until it feels all better.

Next we discussed my throat. I told him day 3-5 were pretty good but then after that I was sorer than usual. He said this was all typical and not to worry. He next looked into my throat and asked me where I was having most of the pain. Was it on the sides, he asked? Yes, I said. He said I had dehiscence, which means that the incision spacing between my sutures are pulling apart a little. He said this is typical in 30-40% of the cases, and there’s nothing I did or didn’t do that caused this. He said it won’t affect the healing but it will delay it by about a week. Sucks.
I am still restricted in terms of carrying (nothing over 10lb.), which includes lifting my daughter into or out of a car seat or buggy. Ugh. He said talking won’t hurt anything so do as much as I feel comfortable with. He continued my painkiller script, but I forgot to ask for anything topical, which was a thought of mine earlier. Much of the healing process I am going through is typical but the dehiscence does put me back a little.

Some other updates. Diet. I am surprised by how not hungry I’ve been. Literally. Every now and then I will catch a smell and my stomach will rumble a bit, but seriously I’m not hungry and if my stomach shrinks some then that’ll be good. Of course, my mentality is still of someone who loves food. It’s the psychology of consumption that still needs to change. I’ve felt as active as ever, and I do not feel unhealthy in any other way. Some things I do enjoy eating include cold Jellos, some pureed soups, lots of water, some pudding occasionally, sorbet, and ice cream. I use to have a large range before the dehiscence because now certain things burn the back of my mouth like some sorbets, orange Jello, and Gatorade. Those are off my diet now. Doctor and nurse suggested finding ways to increase the fiber and protein in my diet, so I may be experimenting with some liquid drinks that include protein powders and/or Metamucil. I do know my pre-op weigh but the ENT does not have a scale so I can’t check my current weight until I return to the high school on Monday.

Yes, and as for Monday and high school. I am planning my week out so I can talk as least as possible. If I have lecture materials I need covered, I am going to video tape them this week so I can just play them. What I can write, I will write out. I will also talk to my classes about my needs, as well.

My attitude is great, and all will be very well.

Today I sort of pushed myself. Donna woke me half an hour before Claire’s karate lesson and I dove into the shower. I’d not been in public since before surgery so this was a new test for me. I was still in glasses at this point (no contacts for surgery) but was able to get cleaned. Donna drove to karate, obviously.

I had woken with a pretty sore throat and need to remember to put on the humidifiers tonight. Grab my meds before running out the door to class and a coupe of people talked to me through class. I did my best and mostly they didn’t let on they knew anything was funny with my speech patterns.

After karate, we hit a few garage sales and then headed home for lunch. I was a little eager to get out a little more and knew SwimKidsUSA was open until 2pm. I asked Claire if she wanted to head up there to practice her strokes and she readily agreed. In hindsight I should’ve taken my suit and relaxed in the heavily humid pool. That might’ve been nice. Claire swam for almost an hour and then I showered her. We ran over to the local bookstore so I could pick up her Peter Yarrow tickets, and she spent a bit of time reading and playing.

I talked briefly to some employees while looking for a book of my own, and I saw a friend who knew I’d gone under the knife. After an hour, I was tired and wanted to go home, though. But it was nice to get out into the real world again.

Our friend was having her 30th birthday tonight, so we laid low until it was time for dinner. This was first real test eating out of the house. I introduced myself at the dinner party and briefly explained my situation to those who didn’t know me. When I took the menu, I knew I needed something soft and bland. We were at a Mexican place, and I found something that was a fancy mac & cheese. I figured it was safe. I ordered that and “luke warm tap water with absolutely no ice”. The guy gave me a look but followed my order.

While eating a meal I could’ve devoured in under 10 minutes pre-surgery, I took small bites and chewed twice as long. Many time my throat wanted to swallow but I forced it to wait a few more chews. After an hour and people asking me if I wanted a box twice, I gave up. I had eaten about half and it was really good. I got the box and ordered some vanilla ice cream for desert. My throat is definitely a little sorer between eating and also talking, which I did a lot of at dinner with these two new couples we’d not met before.

The driving didn’t bother me today and even though I will be the first to not recommend driving on painkillers (it’s actually like DUI), that didn’t bother me at all. I know Tuesday I have to drive to the ENT office downtown, so that will be the real journey. Beyond that, nice day. More beautiful weather and have been really active mentally.

Working now after a relatively fitful night sleep and remembered the nurse in the hospital joking about painkiller dreams. Hydrocodone has been my painkiller of choice over the years, but I sure did have some odd dreams last night. I wasn’t in a ton of pain or anything and I slept pretty well from midnight until 9:30AM. As with every morning so far I woke with a pretty sore throat. Nothing meds and water couldn’t help. This morning I also decided to try teeth brushing. Nothing fancy, just cool water without paste. Front of my palette felt fine and my tongue felt ok, too. I do feel like I have a few of those sores you sometimes get on your tongue but I can deal with them. The brush didn’t bother my tongue or palette too much, but I also made sure I didn’t go back too far either. I took my Amoxicillin and painkillers and moved to the couch. After about two hours of lounging around there, I had to do something. Anything.

I grabbed my laptop and textbooks and made myself a work area out back on the porch. A soft top poker table worked perfectly and the temperature today has been wonderfully perfect. Claire’s spent some time out here playing and working on planting some green beans, too.

It’s about 1530 now, and I’ve not taken more meds (sorta seeing how my throat feels without them). I also was able to get a ton of grading done, commiserate with the other millions of people who still don’t have a Google Wave invite, and go through a 32oz Gatorade and some puddings. Not that you care, but I also successfully used the toilet today; I know the ENT will be happy about that since it’s been 5 days now.

Ok, more tomorrow then. Going to grade more this evening and probably move inside when the wife gets home from the day job. Tomorrow is the new test: leaving the house.

Hey hey, it’s Thursday. Actually, that’s what people tell me, anyway. I can’t even begin to tell you where my watch is, and by the tone of this post, you can see I am feeling better. Donna and I stayed up way too late last night watching random shows on the television, and I think I crashed around midnight. I don’t remember much between then and 8:30AM today, but when I woke up my throat was relatively raw and I needed a drink. I could tell I’ve been breathing through my mouth, and I am going to have to check with the ENT next week about that.

I dragged myself out of bed, got some meeds, and said goodbye to Donna who was running off for the day. Claire and I hunkered down in the living room for the day, and she watched way too much Dora and Diego, which I popped Mysteries of Pittsburgh into my MacBook Pro’s dvd player. I cannot even begin to tell you how terrible this film was. I had read the book circa 1998 and really enjoyed the characterization. I loved Phlox and found Jane the perfect description of heroine. It didn’t bother me that there we two characters with the same name, and the homosexual under tones didn’t bother me at all. Flash forward a decade and the film’s been made with Sienna Miler (as Jane), Peter Skaarsgaard as Cleveland. I’d been asking Donna to watch it with me for a month or two now, but she’s always had an excuse. I wish I had an excuse, too. Oh my God, it was terrible. Phlox was completely flattened as a character, Jane became boring, one of the Arthurs was cut completely from the film. The only thing I liked about this film was that it was filmed in Pittsburgh. Please skip this movie.

Anyway, back to the healing. I was able to eat cool orange jello and chocolate pudding. I also got about 32 oz of cool water down. Ice water is not a good idea yet, though. When I took the early afternoon painkiller and Amoxicillin does, Claire asked for a nap. I knew that if I laid down then I could also nap. We headed into my bedroom and crawled under the blankets. She was out for three hours and I was out another 90 minutes while she colored and made herself a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.

Around dinner time I woke up to make us some soup. I am ready to move up in the world to other challenges so I pulled out Red Lentil puree soup. Claire stuck her finger into her bowl before I microwaved it. She said “yum!” and I asked if she wanted it cold. She nodded vigorously and grabbed a spoon. I warmed mine and even though it was a little spicy I ate it all. At this point, I just need to remember to make small bites and lift my head when I swallow.

Later in the evening I felt well enough to vacuum and do dishes. Claire helped me clean up and we had sorbet for desert before she went to bed. We both brushed teeth tonight, which was something I was sort of scared to do beforehand.

If you’re reading this, and getting anything out of it, let me know. If you want to know more about pain or such, let me know. More about eating, etc… Let me know. I plan to update this until I return to work. This is Oct 22nd. We will see how that goes.

Well sleeping was a bit of a test. Somewhere along the line Donna and I began watching The Postman, and before I knew it she was in bed, it was midnight, and I had an hour left before the film was over. I was feeling just ok, and knew if I waited until 1AM I could take another dose of painkillers before bed.

When I went into the bedroom Donna had my pillows all propped up for me. The ENT wanted m to sleep with my head raised, which annoys me because I am such a flat sleeper usually. By about 2AM I was able to fall asleep relatively soundly. I did wake up every so often to try to swallow, so it wasn’t all fun and games but I sure did make it all night.

Around dawn I woke up to realized two things. 1) I forgot to put on my humidifier, & 2) it was time for more painkillers and I sure could use it. I wasn’t screaming out in pain, but I sure was a little uncomfortable. I crawled out of bed, took my meeds, had a little water and went back to sleep. I remember Donna saying something about lying too flat on my back (even though I know I had way more pillows under me than usual), and then I heard Claire shrieking. This was about 945AM and after checking on her, I fell back into bed until Donna called to make sure I was not still in bed at 10AM.

So it was time to transfer myself to the couch and take more meds. Got some painkillers and antibiotics, and Claire brought me orange jello. We mostly just sat around all afternoon. She wanted to color on the dry erase board with me, so I convinced her to put it across our laps. I also realized how many of her dry erase markers were dried out. She and I spent an hour drawing before she moved onto a show. She was looking forward to some Dora so I popped Forgetting Sarah Marshall into my laptop with my earphones. I don’t know if it was the painkillers or what but the movie was utterly terrible.

I moved onto some Pomegranate Sorbet and it tasted pretty good but since I’d just taken my meeds, it had an odd taste. I was still spitting a lot of gook but there’s still no blood, which is really good. In the late afternoon Donna picked Claire up to go to Karate, and Donna suggested I take a nap. I headed into the bedroom and was able to put together about an hour of fitful sleep.

When Donna and Claire came home, I was ready for the next test. Hot fluids. Donna had purchased several pureed soups, including a smooth corn soup. When she brought the bowl over, it was really warm, which concerned me. I let it sit until it was lukewarm (as I would rather warm it up again than to drink it too hot), and then I began to sip it with a teaspoon. It was very tasty and went down surprisingly well. I did have to warm it up once and I ended up eating most of a bowl full.

The only concerns I see right now is that occasionally it does feel like some of the fluids do go up into my nose a little bit. I know this can be a concern and a side affect that may never go away. I sure don’t want this to be permanent, and it is definitely one of the things I need to talk to the ENT about next week.

After the soup, I felt well enough to help Claire with her bath. I kept upright as much as possible, I am talking a little more, and I am feeling pretty ok right now. I had a little sorbet this evening after the soup, and the ENT is correct that citrus isn’t the best thing since it’s lemon flavored and a little sore.

My attitude’s been good, and Donna and I both expected me to be more out of it still. For example, I think we both expected me to be unconscious all evening last night and in bed much of today. I’ve been laying low, and I want to thank all of the people who’ve messaged me their well wishes.

Well Monday rolled around quickly, and Donna and I took Claire to daycare early in the morning before driving to Banner Good Samaritan Hospital in Phoenix. We checked in around 7:30AM, paid my 20%, and eventually got called back to pre-op. The nurse asked all the normal questions, had me strip down to my boxers, and had me put all my belongings away. Even though the signs all said no mobile phones, I still hung onto mind to tweet ’til the last minute. After I was all set up and had my IV, they let Donna come back.

After a bit Dr Orozco (ENT) & Dr Whooley (anesthesiologist) came in to answer questions. Donna and I wrote them all down and took a couple last minute photos before the nurse wheeled me down to the operating room. (Donna was to wait in the waiting room until I was done). As they wheeled me into the OR, I had this sense of overwhelming dread at the last second. It was the anxious feeling of passing the point of no return. As soon as they got me on the table, Whooley administered Versed, which is a relaxing drug they’ve used on me before. While he did that, he told the nurse to get a nasal intubation tube. I know enough about medical procedures to know I did NOT want to be awake when they intubated me!

Well, guess what? The next thing I knew was hearing Donna’s voice. She said something about the nasal tube, and then I opened my eyes. Right when I opened my eyes, I watched the RN swiftly pull what looked like a 6″ curved, bloody tube from my right nostril. Donna gasped because she didn’t realize how far into my body that tube would go. I did. It hurt a little but not really that much since I was still completely out of it. By this point, Donna has later told me that I’d been out of surgery for 90 minutes.

Once a bed opened, they moved me upstairs. There are holes throughout my afternoon that she could probably fill in, but as I said before, I am writing this for people who will have these surgeries more for me. Through out the afternoon I was surprised at how sore I wasn’t. Yes, not that sore. The ENT had said I would feel like I have the worse sore throat ever, but that’s not true for me. I’ve had a sore throat where I felt like I was swallowing glass all the time. This isn’t that bad. But you know what they didn’t tell me that has bothered me? The gook. Now, I haven’t seen any blood but have you ever had a mouth full of really thick spit that you just needed to get out of your throat? Well, that’s what I’ve been feeling completely for 24 hours now. I’ve been either spitting into tissues and tossing them or trying to swallow. It takes 2-3 times for me to swallow when trying, and most of the time i don’t completely succeed. The ENT said all of this is normal for now.

The evening after surgery I was in and out of consciousness all night long. One time I woke up to a meal sitting in front of me. It was all liquid sort of food, and one thing there was chicken soup that was pureed. I decided to try it, and some of it was going back up my nose, which was sort of scary because I sure don’t want that to permanent part of my eating abilities from now on. I gave up on soup and then had some pudding. It was lemon flavored and he said no citrus but it felt ok to me.

By 2AM Donna reminded me that I had my noise cancellation headphones with me, and since my roommate was way too loud, I popped those on, and fell asleep for 4-5 hours. Tuesday morning was a lot of waiting around to be released. Over night I realized the nurse had been giving me double doses of my painkillers, which was good news for me. After the nurse split the dose to the correct dosage, it still was doing it’s job just fine.

As for talking, it sure isn’t something I want to be doing but I’ve had to talk a little here and there and it’s been ok. It doesn’t really hurt, but I am just not that interested in talking too much. Of course, Claire doesn’t quite understand but she will be ok.

By about 1PM I was allowed to go home. Donna drove me home and I’ve been mostly on the couch since. I’ve slept a bit and watched TV, and the only reason I can post this is because I am 3 1/2 hours out from painkillers so I am relatively lucid right now.

I am sort of surprised by my lack of appetite. I thought I would be terribly hungry and my family even had a great dinner here near me, but so far it’s not bothered me at all. I’ve been sipping on a Gatorade all day and forced down a chocolate pudding. I know what my weight was pre-surgery, so I can more about that after this journey. As for the bathroom, I know I need to be urinating. When you have something like this and don’t urinate then it’s definitely an issue, which could lead to dehydration and fluids in the ER. Yuck. So I am keeping track of my toilet habits, too. As for bowel movements, if it don’t go in, then it won’t come out. ’nuff said. ok, moving on…

I think bed tonight will be a new test.

Ok, so there’s a bit of a gap since my last story about surgery. My scariest part was the whole not finding a lot of information online from people who actually did the surgery. I did meet a guy at my doctor’s office who had the same surgery and he told me about some things, but at that point I wasn’t sure the name of my surgery so I was half listening.

I talked to a few nurse friends who pretty much said “why get surgery? why do you need it?” Of course, I did see many websites and even talked to the doctor who said if I don’t I have a high increase in heart attacks, strokes and arrhythmia. Since heart problems run in my family, we were all a little scared.

By my next appointment on Sept 21st, I was pretty sure I was doing it. I talked to Dr Orozco who seemed to mollified many of my concerns so we scheduled the surgery for Oct 5th in the morning. This was the first business day of my two weeks off so the timing was pretty perfect.

Then I needed pro-op authorization from my PCP. Routine, right? Not for me. The EKG was quickly abnormal, which resulted in three trips to the Cardiologist. The first was another EKG which was better, but he still wanted two stress tests. I was still not authorized as of Thursday afternoon when I was running on the tread mill in my work shoes with an IV pumping nuclear stuff into my arm.

I also was on the phone with Orozco’s nurse, who I sure wouldn’t want to work for me. After the Sept 21st appointment she said she would call to confirm insurance an call me. We even checked to make sure she had my mobile number. 10 days later I called her. She said everything was set but of course it wasn’t. I had to call insurance and get the rigamarole from them, but by last Friday I was cleared through insurance, cardiologist and the PCP. Here we go…

I don’t know anyone who wants to have surgery who isn’t have an emergency, but now that I am 12 hours away from surgery what do I say? I don’t know. I’ve been keeping myself pretty busy (denying it?). I remember to take out my contacts and not wear jewelry. I also packed a bag based on what the pre-admission lady told me Friday afternoon. Claire’s scheduled for day care in the morning and Donna’s off work for half a day to stay through PACU with me. I ain’t got much else until afterward. Here’s to life.

The last two springs, I have had some odd irritation in my nostrils and have also developed respiratory issues over the last five years, so I hit the ENT. The first one I went to said to not worry about the nose thing because, as Murphy’s Law would have it, my nose was not irritated THAT DAY. Ugh.

When I began having issues again two months later, I went searching for a different ENT. Several friends had used Dr. Charles Orozco downtown Phoenix, so I figured that even thought it was a hike from South Chandler I would try him. He ran several tests, explained I more than likely had an ongoing Staph infection in my nose that an antibiotic ointment would hand, and asked if I had any more issues.

I explained that I had excessive snoring (to the point that my wife would sometimes sleep in the guest room) and I was always tired. He said to err on the side of caution that I should do a sleep test. I thought that sounded like a pretty good idea since any test I could do where I get to sleep more would be awesome.

Within a week I was at East Valley Oximetry hooked up to all sorts of electrodes, and preparing to go to sleep. The woman told me she’d come in to put a CPAP on me if I had “episodes”. I wasn’t sure what any of that meant but I was tired and went to sleep. Over night she instructed me to do several things like roll over and lie on my back, and I woke with this weird mask over my face. The CPAP is a mask that goes over your nose and blows humid air down your throat continually. As she unhooked everything in the morning, she said I had episodes so I asked for clarification. Her response: “You stop breathing when you sleep.” Beyond that she was vague since she wasn’t the ENT. He’d have to read my results. I was pretty sure he’d want my tonsils out, which I was ok with since so many people had them out anyway.

A few days later I was back in his office and he explained that true, good, restful sleep was REM sleep, and that I on slipped into REM sleep about 1/2% of the time. Yes, you read that right. Half of 1% of my sleeping is restful. He also said I stop breathing on average 60 times an hour at night. So, yes, every minute.

I asked him what we do now, and he said we had two options. 1) wear a breathing mask like the one during the sleep study every time I sleep forever, or 2) surgery. At first he was relatively vague with the surgery, but I cam to discover he recommended removing my tonsils (no problem), shrinking the back of my tongue (kinda odd but less evasive than it sounds), and cutting out m uvula and part of my soft palate in the back of my mouth (OMG, ewww ouch!). After we discussed each of these procedures for awhile I asked if perhaps we could try the CPAP to see if it helps, and if not, then I could move on to a discussion of surgery. This was in mid-July, I was returning to work right away, and I figured I could do surgery over October break if it came to that. He agreed wholeheartedly, and I asked what would happen if I just did nothing. His response: “You could die”.

See the dangly uvula back there hanging down? It’s gonna be in a glass jar soon enough.

I was diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea that could lead to strokes (I am 34 for God’s sake!), heart attack (runs in my family!), or arrhythmia (yuck!). I made an appointment with East Valley Respiratory to be fitted for a mask and to pick up my CPAP machine. The day I went the woman had several different styles of mask and I picked the one I thought would work the best. A couple people I’d talked to said that they can’t sleep with them, but I can sleep pretty much however/whenever so I wasn’t worried. The lady said it would be $400 for the machine, which was my part after insurance; I forked over the money and took it home.

Immediately I realized there was literally no way to snore on a CPAP at all since you have to sleep with your mouth closed. It is physically impossible not to. I got use to the mask very quickly and have slept with it almost every night since late July. Of course, I expected to be wider awake, have more energy and not be tired during the day. This didn’t happen. I also didn’t like the whole “you need to wear that mask for the rest of your life” attitude, especially since I travel all of the time. I began to research surgery.

Doc tried to give me the layman’s terms of what he wanted to due, but I would’ve preferred the medical terms because, as we all know, I am not a dummy. Eventually I discovered he wanted to perform a uvulopalatoplasty, tonsillectomy, and a somnoplasty. As I research, more and more I couldn’t find anecdotal materials, and I sort of put it off because I knew I couldn’t even bother go under the knife err…. laser until October when my fall break began.