Earlier today Claire and I went through all of her books and got a large box for Bookman’s. Bookman’s is cool because they accept lots of books for a pretty good price We took two full boxes and my buddy Audrea was working. We dropped them off up front and headed to find the “Chapter books” (they’r e novels for under 6th graders). Claire has about 30 Magic Treehouse books so I wanted to fill in the gaps from when I bought them on Ebay. We also wanted to see what else they had.

She got eight Magic Treehouse books, a few fairy books, and the first Judy Moody book. She’d seen Judy Moody and the Not So Bummer in June with her Auntie M, my sister (Meghan) and her only aunt. After she picked the ones she wanted, it was my turn to look around. Claire climbed into the cart with Judy and started reading. I had to pull it from her hand to pay and then she read it all the way to REI. In REI she was reading and walking into things.I sat her down near where I planned to shoot; I told her to scream bloody order if anyone touched her. She sat in the corner on the floor while I shopped nearby and it reminded me of when I would do the same at Hills.

Later that evening after she had dinner and watched some tv, I tossed her and her book into bed about 7pm. I told her to make sure she didn’t come out since I was planning to watch American Horror Story and that was the last thing I wanted her to walk into. Around 9:45pm I heard her bedroom door click, and she came out as I hit pause. She sleepily climbed into my lap and told me that she just finished her book. I carried her back into her room where she showed me Judy Moody book #1. She talked to me about it for a few minutes and showed me her 105 page chapter book. I put it on her shelf, sat another new book near her bed, and turned off the light. Like father, like daughter.

Tonight was Meet the Teacher, and while I don’t even want to get started on who dropped the ball with communication about the meeting, we were pretty excited. Claire was curious to see who was in her class, and a few of her same friends are with her but several aren’t. Mrs K has a ton of experience, and I know that came into account when she was placed into that class.

Tonight she tried to steal the attention, she spoke loudly, she was very excited, she didn’t want to leave, and Mrs K took it all in stride. I watched closely how they interacted and think it’ll be a good year.

Claire’s Papa had been scheduling a surprise visit to Arizona for her birthday the first week of April, and he was to arrive Monday, April 4th. Well Sunday afternoon Claire began to feel a little under the weather and was not enjoying her time with a friend who was visiting. She was a little warm and we both were a little concerned since Papa flew in 24 hours later and hoped to help her ride her bike, swim with her at our local pool, play games, take walks, etc… Of course Papa knew she would attend school every single day he was here, and he could see her afterward (Boy, was I wrong!).

By Monday’s end, Claire wouldn’t play with her friends at kid’s express and just sat there after school. By the time Donna picked her up and got her home, Claire only wanted to go to bed. I was picking Papa up at the airport, and we planned this whole unveiling that was quickly forgotten. Later Monday night she woke once and was confused but happy Papa was there. By now her temp was between 101-103 for a day, and she was not attending school Tuesday. Tuesday she also went to the pediatrician who believed it was viral as were a lot of cases they’d seen recently. She was regularly vomiting and having diarrhea by this time. She stayed home Tuesday and Wednesday, but by Wednesday she didn’t want to get out of bed at all and refused to eat or drink anything at all. Back to the pediatrician’s office we went Thursday morning. She was down a pound and our regular pediatrician told Donna and her father to take Claire to the ER immediately for fluids.

I met them Thursday afternoon at the ER, and Claire already looked better. The fluids perked her up but they took blood and stool to check just in case. After a few hours, Claire came home and was back to “normal”. She was not permitted to attend school on Friday, her birthday, but she was doing well. Now she had a good excuse to spend her entire birthday with Papa! I came home at noon Friday, April 8th, to spend time with her and make sure she was ok, and she looked great. Friday we went to the pediatrician’s again, and the doc said it definitely must’ve been viral (which I had a really hard time believing by this point!) and Claire looked great. Friday we celebrated. Saturday she and her friend spent part of the day together for her birthday, and then she and Papa spent the evening together. Sunday we took Papa to the airport and said our good byes. Even though Claire was on the couch a lot sick, they did get a lot of time together.

Before going to the airport, the ER called. They said a test came back abnormal and she had to go back in. Donna and I decided that would happen after the airport. We felt it was routine so I went about my own pre-planned event for the afternoon while the three of them headed to the airport. I told Donna to email me at my event if there were any issues or if they wanted me to headed to the hospital after my event if they were still sitting (as people do often in ER waiting rooms).

Around 4:00pm Sunday, Donna texted me and it read: “Salmonella. Sending home on antibiotics.” My reaction was “yuck”, but who the heck gets salmonella? This is something your mother threatened so you would take a bath before bed, or your Mimi threatened you with because you would not get out from under her feet while she cooked a nice chicken dinner.

I told my wife I’d meet them at home, and then I kept doing my thing. Someone at my event talked my ear off for half an hour, and then I got in my car to head home. I glanced back at my phone almost an hour after the last text. This one said “Infectious Disease not letting her leave. Being admitted. IV antibiotics.”

My response is not appropriate for a PG-13 blog post.

I channeled Mario Andretti while frantically trying to call my wife’s mobile and/or my mother, the nurse. Donna’s response (almost always calmer than my own) was to go home and get together a list of stuff she and Claire would need, and then grab dinner before heading to the hospital. That made sense to me but I was a little strung out. I was worried about what we needed and when we’d go home and why was she even in the hospital in the first place. She was fine. She looked fine. She felt fine. She was sick last week, not now. This did not compute.

I arrived at the hospital Sunday evening three hours after she arrived, and she was still in an ER room. Neither of us was too happy and expressed our concerns to the nurses outside of the room before Claire was finally taken upstairs. Now this isn’t a bad hospital and overall we’re happy with them. Donna even picked this hospital in the first place was because it’s the new “children’s hospital” five minutes from our house.

That evening it was assumed Claire would be at the hospital for 48 hours while we waited for the test results. The goal was that by Tuesday the results would be negative and she could leave. This would pretty much mean that any salmonella in her streams was transient and we would worry less. In the mean time the CDC wanted her on aggressive IV antibiotics, and the doctors prescribed more fluids since she was still a little “dry”.

Her spirits were good, and her new room was more like a suite with a pull out bed for Mama and a TV with tons of kid’s movies, games, and even the internet on the TV. We determined I would work the first half of each day and then relieve Mama who went to work from the afternoon into early evening before going home to get work clothes for the next day before settling into the hospital at night. Donna’s college is across the street from the hospital, so this worked out for everyone.

We quickly got into a pattern of me getting my sub and heading up in the late mornings, and Donna showering in the hospital room’s bathroom. Even though Claire was definitely in good spirits and utterly asymptomatic, by Tuesday we were done with this hospital thing. We wanted to go back to our normally schedule lives. (Remember by then Claire had not been at school in 7 school days).

But it was not meant to be. Claire’s test came back positive. Two more days in the hospital, Mr. Groundhog. So we continued. The days meshed into each other, and I was in the hospital by noon each day and didn’t see fresh air again until after dark. Dante, the dog, was spooked because our home felt so empty since it was just me from about 9pm-6am each day. People sent well wishes and hoped she felt better soon, and I had to remind them that she felt totally fine… that we just needed to kill the salmonella swimming in her blood before anything really bad happened. Donna worked later and later, trying to fit 8 hours of work into 4, and we waited.

We knew that when they reran the blood tests Tuesday that there was no way we’d be home until Thursday at the earliest, and when the Infectious Disease doc came into the room, I got him to tell us that outright so we could plan our week.

We also asked him how she got sick and what it really meant. He said that it’s not uncommon for people to get Salmonella in Arizona (one strain is even named after the state!), but many people who get it are adults. Many times they don’t even noticed it. He said it could come from reptiles or amphibians. He said it could be found in unfiltered water. He said it is in nature. He even said it could be found in peanut butter!

My response was “what if Claire was recently playing in a creek, in the forest, down stream from a cattle ranch, eating peanut butter filled pretzels and playing with crayfish far from a sink where she could wash her hands?” He looked at me and said “that’d be the perfect storm.” Little did he realize that over break, while camping, Claire did exactly that. Even the incubation period matched with when she became symptomatic.

All the while, each day, we’d email Claire’s teacher, principal, kid express’ teacher and attendance officer. She received several nice emails back, a wonderful gift from Donna’s colleague, a beautiful card from my student’s mother, and even a personal call from her principal. We got homework done, played games, and watched television. By Tuesday the fluids were done, so she was not tethered to a machine 24/7. (Better for us all as she kept moving around the room, and we were worried she’d yank the IV out of her arm.)

By the time I arrived at the hospital on Wednesday, the preliminary culture was still negative. The doctor said after 12 hours of negative growth, the chances of the culture staying negative increases with each passing hour. We were pretty happy about that. If by Thursday the culture was positive, we need to start examining her for bone disease or Meningitis (in other words, we did NOT want the test to turn positive!).

By the time Donna returned Wednesday night, we felt really good about Thursday. We had so many well wishes via texts, Facebook, Twitter, and phone calls to us or Claire in the room. The thoughts and prayers were flowing in, and Donna packed up most of our belongings in the hospital room for me to bring home. Each night Donna had picked what Claire would have for dinner, and I’d order it each afternoon. That night as Claire had her dinner, we began laughing out loud! Donna had ordered her Salmon without thinking. It was hilariously coincidental!

Thursday morning, it was a matter of waiting. I had my own drama to deal with at work, so I didn’t stick by my phone much until 10:30 am when I had a new email that simply said “We’re Outta Here!”

It’s Thursday afternoon now, Donna’s back at work, I’m at home with Claire for the remainder of the day, and Claire’s excited to get back to school tomorrow just in time for her first kindergarten field trip and a relaxing weekend. She even had a gift waiting for her. Mimi ordered Claire stuffed bacteria. This company makes these stuffed animals that aren’t really animals. They come in the shape of bacterium or viruses but they’re plush and magnified by 10,000,000. (They’re about 4″ long and 2″ wide.) Guess which one Claire got in the mail? Salmonella. Three of them living in a petri dish. Very funny.

After rebooting the server, I kissed her, closed the door, shook my head and went back to the living room.

I’ve always wanted to be a big part of my daughter’s life, and as an educator I understand the importance of Parent Teacher Organizations. As an active member, I offered my photography skills and equipment to the PTO for the dance. We charged a few dollars to cover the printing of the photos and I set up a studio backdrop in the corner.

I wasn’t sure how Claire would react to this dance but I’m usually not to concerned. She’s very social, but it’s funny because occasionally she gets very shy over the oddest things. I currently teach in a school that did not open with upperclass (i.e. we did not have seniors), so school dances were odd that first year because there were no seniors to model. This wasn’t an issue with Claire and her friends because five grade levels of girls (and some boys) showed them what to do. Claire latched onto her friend M___ quickly, bought a glow necklace with four quarters I gave her (I spent a few minutes convincing her that four quarters really was a dollar), and then they were off.

The dance was in their multipurpose room (read: gym, theatre, cafeteria, meeting room, etc…), there was a single door (I blocked the other with my setup), there were security guards, teachers, and the principal. I wasn’t too worried when she ran out of view from time to time. She fluctuated from jumping around with M____ and a young boy she knew to being shy and hanging from me as I did my job (she’s pushing 4′ tall so that’s harder than it use to be).

I’ve been to hundreds of school dances but this was really odd for me. Not so much because my child was a participant, but more so because everyone was so small and they were dancing innocently. They were dancing for fun and going home with mum or dad. This was refreshingly fun. The music was different, too. No more “clean versions” of this or that song. No more songs that cause the entire room to chant out things that make every adult in the room uncomfortable. What I did hear was the students chanting out Sponge Bob Square Pants (no I did not know that show has its own song); in our day we chanted added to lines to Mony Mony. Remember that? Most of the songs I didn’t recognize and I bet some of them I wish I never had to hear. I am sure Justin Bieber (or Beaver as some of the fifth graders will say) sang a tune or two. Miley Cyrus (god curse her soul) probably crooned another one or two. Probably many of the people who won a Grammy two days after this dance were played by a pretty good DJ, and, as my wife pointed out, half of the kids sang along to Katy Perry’s Fireworks (probably a bit too mature for many of the kids but this song has a positive G-rated message).

After the weekend between being a bit (honestly) freaked out by my daughter’s first school dance and watching the Grammy’s nominees most of whom I did not recognize, I came to a few frank realizations. I need to be more open-minded about contemporary sugar pop culture because no matter how much I try to indoctrinate Claire in bands like Linkin Park and Pink Floyd and keep her from the youth culture propaganda of companies like Disney, I can’t. I can love my daughter, I can educate her, I can teacher her how to read media literacies, and I can have discussions with her about m choices and her choices. Yes, I have my opinions and they are usually quite strong, but between you and me times are a’changing.

Claire and me at the dance

Claire: “Dad, we had an argument today.” She said this as if I knew who “we” are. I assumed it was the few kids she ALWAYS talked about after school each.

“Oh, yeah?” I asked innocently. “What happened?” Kindergarteners can really blow things out of hand.

“Well, J______ said it’s Justin Beiber. But I know his name is Justin Beaver.”

I gulp audibly. Oh know. “Um…. well, Claire, who is that?”

“He’s a singer, Daddy. J_____ loves his songs. She and O______ said his name is Justin Beaver.” She presses.

“Well, have you ever heard his music?” I ask, almost fearing the response. I suddenly could see the music posters and pop idol posters she’d want for her room. I remembered my own Simon LeBon photos on the ceiling above my bed, and the zipper jacket I just had to have.

“No, but J____ has.”

“Oh.” I just keep driving quietly and Claire seems to drop the conversation. I head up the road wondering how I can raise a child outside of the pop culture, sugar pop garbage that permeates our lives. I seriously know that I can’t. I can share information about the media, I can teach her Media Literacy like I do in my classes every day, I can love my daughter, teach her my values, and I can trust her.

After a few miles of silence, “Claire? His name is Justin Beiber.”

Posted by Jeff Glagowski on Flickr.

The first day of school I was blessed to have friends cover my morning classes so I could join Claire and Donna at the elementary school. We were there super early with teacher gifts, kleenex, and cameras in hand. We took photos of Claire on the recess equipment and smiled as her second grade friend ran up to us. We chatted with her teacher and the other kids in the class, too. The first week was all about procedures, rules, and how to pay for lunch. I was eager for her to begin bringing home homework because I knew this was something I was good at doing with her. That week she had no homework.

This week though it was a little different. She had homework every night. For example, one night she had to write the letter “A” over and over again to practice it in some oddly formatted handwriting called dinelian. We also got our first teacher phone class. Claire was being gregarious and was moved to a solitary table where she broke a handle off a materials carousel. We made her write her teacher and apology and take dollar bills our of her piggy bank to pay for her mistake. It’s Friday now and she’s come a long way in just two weeks. Wednesday she was to recite “Mary Had a Little Lamb” which she did by reading the lyrics online on my Droid. I’ve watched her sit down at her desk when she gets home to do homework or read through directions for other worksheets that weren’t assigned. Sure, there’s been consternation on Claire’s part about not coming to high school with me, as she’s done for four years now, but there’s also the excitement of the day to tell Daddy when I pick her up after kids express.

Claire, the 4 year old, has a fascination with Farmville. Mama taught her to play and she can navigate the farms better than many adult players. This is a shot I popped off the other evening as she quietly fertilized her neighbors farms by herself while we cooked dinner.

So now we censor in kindergarten? It’s a child’s book, for God’s sake. It explains why you should not be greedy, why you should not lie, etc… It shows consequences. It’s not the original Dante’s Inferno (which they do teach in schools), so why censor? The kids read Where the Wild Things Art (at this age and younger) with their monsters gnashing their terrible teeth, etc…

So far I have kept my mouth shut, chose my battles and took the book home. But it still bothers me. How much censorship shall my daughter and I go through in her education over the next 13 years?