Archive for April, 2009

I can never go back: A New House

April 27, 2009 By: nooccar Category: Adams, holidays, House, Parenthood, Pittsburgh

Ok, I think it’s time to comment on this one. One day in 1984 I was walking home from school and my parents drove by. I waved them down and hopped into the car. They told me they were off to look at houses because before that we’d been renting, and it was time to move on. We went to this three story cape code on a major highway. The former former occupant had died on the first floor master bedroom and the basement had nice wood paneling. The next day I wrote the address on my wooden desk at school. This was midyear. Within a month we were moved into this new house on Curry Hollow Road. I finished grade 4-6 at two local elementary schools and spent junior high and high school in that house. I can begin to tell you some of the stories in that house, and some others will never leave my lips. I visited home through undergrad and then moved home (into the dead lady’s room) for all of grad school. My brother has lived there for 24 years now. My sister about 20. I lived there for a good part of two decades myself. The house isn’t the largest, the yard isn’t the biggest, and it’s on a highway. In 1993 I became a man in that downstairs basement. Through the early 1990s my cousin courted his now wife and mother of 3 children while spending most weekends living in that same basement. In early 1994 I got my largest tattoo to date on my parent’s dining room table in that house. In spring of 1995 the house caught fire. The basement was destroyed, half the first floor. That same basement where I was sleeping on a December morning in 1994 when I was informed my grandmother was dead. That same house where I lay in an upstairs bedroom with fever and chills in 1988 and was shortly diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. The house where I met with my tutors through Jr High when I couldn’t go to school. The same house from which we all three graduated from high school. The home to which my sister headed after a stint in Colorado and, years early, my brother after another in South Bend, Indiana.

My parents are getting older. Dad has bad knees (over weight, skied for four decades). Mom has bad knees (baker’s cysts), bionic hip and a terrible back (sciatic and discs). Did I mention the house has three floors? You can’t even get to the living room without going up a flight of stairs or two… and in the snow and ice, it’s even worse. They need one floor.

Now, I come to say this. It looks like I will never ever be in that house again. Never. Ever. My parents are selling it. They too are moving on like Donna and I did a decade ago. They aren’t going as far. My parents are prepared to put in a bid on a single story (with a huge basement) large home in Canonsburg, PA. We shall see if they get it.

When they talked about moving, we always told them to go for it! Curry Hollow has always been small, too small for two dogs, three children, two parents, a parade of boy friends, girl friends, friend friends, and our own families now. Mum began looking more earnestly after Christmas (now that the economy sucks and you can get a good deal); she liked the Thomas Road house, but I didn’t realize my father would run our the day after tax season to look, too. When he’s ready, my father acts quickly. Too quickly almost for me right now.

My uncle (Dad’s little brother) is in town. They all went to view this Thomas Road house yesterday, and today my parents began packing our house. Yes, Ours, still. I’ve not lived there in a decade, but I am really town now between being happy for them to have the room they need and the lack of stairs, etc… but it’s like I can never go home now. There will be nothing familiar at all with it. No sleeping on the back porch in the summer, listening to New Kids on the Block and getting my ear pierced when I was 12, or the pond where I froze my snapping turtle to death by accident. Nothing. When they say you can never go home again, now I really get it.

This feels like it’s becoming a reality. We talked about new carpets for 15 years and they are doing it now… to sell our family home. We talked about new bathroom model. Now, they are doing it. The basement acoustic ceiling has been falling down for 15 years, my uncle and brother replaced it today. Today. Took 1 day. I waited 15 years, and I will never see the ceiling, the hardwood, the paint. I will get off the plane at Christmas and go to someone’s weird unrecognizable house.

Cooking Claire

April 23, 2009 By: nooccar Category: Claire, Parenthood

A few months ago day care added an oven in Claire’s room. It’s a small thing where they can do basic cooking without burning anyone or anything, but now Claire comes home all of the time and thinks she can cook. Typically she wants to do it without us! She’s really into making dessert for us, and the other day we almost had to eat some really odd looking Easter candy and water concoction before we convinced Claire otherwise.

Monday I came home from work and wanted to grab a quick shower before we headed to dinner. I told Claire and typically she plays quietly with some art stuff, a book or the video game. This time I came out a few minutes later (I do NOT take long showers) and this is how I found her.


To this day I don’t know what she made, but I will tell you that she used half of the vanilla I had left from Nogales, most of the baking soda and a few cups of sugar. She also finished off our icing (from a former cupcake evening) and sprinkled everything with confectionery delights. She was very happy with her project and we left it there so Mama could see it before I tossed it after Claire was deep asleep that night.

Future International Traveler

April 18, 2009 By: turtlegirl Category: Uncategorized


Claire and I arrived home tonight after escaping to Walmart for flower pots and other “necessities” to find her first passport in the mailbox. Though I’m sure she has yet to understand the relevance, I have a feeling that she soon will!

Hopefully we’ll be visiting our friends in Amsterdam before the year is out. Then maybe a weekend trip to Mexico… Or maybe Canada sometime. Then again, there is always time for London and Greece next year!

Here’s to another milestone surpassed by my 44″ tall, 44 pound, 4-year old daughter! I look forward to our many trips together. Love, Mama


Has Twitter become too mainstreamed?

April 17, 2009 By: nooccar Category: Reviews, School, Technology

So as we all know, Oprah is on Twitter. Jen Anniston dumped John Mayer because he tweets too much. Ashton and Demi live their relationship there now. I am not getting into the cultural theory behind this shift in this Web 2.0 tool, but i am more interested in the negative perspective of Twitter now that it’s hit “mainstream”. It was once for geeks like us, and now it’s everywhere. There’s a proliferation of Twitter in Hollywood/celebland and also in the younger gen. I don’t know who all is on here but I teach high school full time and knew my audience here (i.e. Twitter) was NOT my underage public school students but now it has become that. And no, I do not publicize me on Twitter at school. So I wanted to see other people’s perspectives on this. Today I posted something about Twitter and a former student replied that Twitter is a problem solution made for a problem that never even existed … (yeah, I don’t know either) but I am getting these ignorant people who only know about @mrskutcher or @oprah because it’s all over the news and then comes to judge me as if I didn’t love the band before their hit record, if you get my drift. Any thoughts?

Terby: The Killer Turtle

April 15, 2009 By: nooccar Category: Donna

Ok so now I know Donna loves turtles and after about a decade I did convince her to store away most of her turtle knick knacks, but I am here alone with Claire and totally freaked out. See, Kacie, her friend, brought her a turtle-shaped Easter basket on Sunday. Inside of the basket was an iTurtle. If you’ve never seen one of these, it’s this little (supposedly) robotic turtle iPod thingy. It’s shaped like a turtle, and you plug it into your iPod or other music player. Now, this is cute and all, but the thing has begun to act very oddly.

It barks at us. If we leave it alone it barks, and then it rears its head up scarily. Sometimes it howls like an elephant! When you look over, it looks like just a little plastic white innocent thing, but in actuality it’s terrifyingly scary. I got a shot of it before I had to run outside and sit with my daughter in the backyard so it doesn’t eat us alive. I have no idea why it blinks and barks (and I know no other turtle to ever bark!), but I think it’s pulling some Linda Blair stuff on me, or maybe it learned everything from reading Bret Easton Ellis’ Lunar Park and based its very existence off Terby! Oh the horror!

Killer Terby

Better business model: Add free wifi!

April 15, 2009 By: nooccar Category: Parenthood, Technology

Hey you! Yeah, you. The owners of Karate clubs, gymnastic gyms, indoor pools. Yes, the people who own and run the places where you want us to bring our children. The places where you want us to spend our money. I got an idea for You. Wireless. Free WiFi! Tonight I was at Karate with Claire, and there are five networks I can hit from there. They are all locked. At SwimKidsUSA they have a network IN THE BUILDING and NO Access!! Nada. Bummer.

I bet you’d get more business if you had these things set up and turned on. Most businesses have internet now, so add a wireless modem for less than $100.00. Open it to customers (you can password it if you want, and just tell customers the password. Change it monthly if you want.) If I convince one more parent to bring their kid here because they can work while the kid takes classes, I just made you about $100.00 a Month! They do one class at a place like SwimKidsUSA, they’re stupid not to add another for half price, which bumps them to almost $100. This is monthly, guys! Consider it. I know I’d sit there longer and let my kid play more, get her more into your programs so she wants to take more classes, which makes me give you more of my money. Think about it.

Happy Easter!

April 12, 2009 By: nooccar Category: Claire, holidays, Parenthood

On the way to our Easter celebration with out friends and family, Claire asked what the Easter Bunny looked like. I had received a Twit Pic earlier in the day from Jason Avant that he’d shown to his son; I had the photo still open on my phone so I yanked it out. She took one look at the picture, held my phone for a while, handed it back to me, and then simply said, “Oh”.

Later I heard her telling Donna that the Easter Bunny is black and has long ears. Haha!!!

Easter Bunny!

Jesus and Jack

April 11, 2009 By: nooccar Category: Literature

A long while ago my grandfather passed away. He was old and it was his time. Recently the National Council of Teacher’s of English Two Year College Association did a poet of the day showcase. I submitted a poem that was accepted. They wanted it in audio or video. I chose video. Here it is.

Burnt Corral Camping

April 10, 2009 By: nooccar Category: Leisure, Travel

Recently Donna and I were searching for a place to camp during Spring Break 2009, and since the winter had been so cold up north we knew we had to choose carefully if we wanted to not be too cold at night. A few friends recommended different places, and the wife and I finally agreed on Burnt Corral on Apache Lake three miles south of Roosevelt Dam. Initially a large group was going but everyone fell out except for us. The Burnt Corral Campground descriptions I found said that the temps were mild, there was swimming and fishing, and it was within two hours of our home.

There are two ways to get to Burnt Corral. One is through Apache Junction and up the Apache Trail. The other is to take the Beeline Highway north and cross back before you hit Rye, AZ. I had heard the Trail was very scenic but a harder drive. I also knew it was a shorter distance, so we figured it was the best way to go. I didn’t realize that this was 22 miles of unpaved, pot holed, dirt road. I enjoyed the drive, but the wife didn’t like it so much; she would’ve been more scared if the GPS didn’t show up exactly where we were.


After about 90 minutes we pulled off Highway (if you can call it that!) 88 and down to the campground along Apache Lake. We pulled into a mesquite grove with limited shade, and I had expected more greenery but I was ok with the site we found. We drove in around 2pm on a Friday and most sites were already filled with people. The flat area below was very crowded and was completely open where you were up against your neighbors, so we opted for a site up the hill a bit. Our site had a large mesquite tree that gave us some shelter, but this also dripped some sap on our camp. Because we were camped near the lake, gnats and mosquitoes were all over the place (but they never bit us). After setting up camp a man two sites over was playing his music loudly but because it was midday and quiet hours weren’t until 10pm, there was nothing we could say.


When researching camp grounds online, I went to; this site said that I could buy firewood from the host. While we were unpacking the site, the Forest Service came around to check tags. I asked about the firewood and he said the hosts do NOT sell firewood and the closest place to buy it was 16 miles away! Seriously. We also had forgotten some other things, so I made the round trip 32 miles (of which 8 miles were on the Apache Trail). This wasn’t cool, but I was only gone for about 75 minutes.

When camping in AZ we try to find something cooler that the valley, and this was not that place. It was in the 80s and really sunny; at night it dropped to 50s and 60s. One night I wore my fleece and shorts and the other night I only had on my pants and tshirt. In our attempt to go somewhere not to cold, we ended up somewhere almost too warm. That was ok with Claire who immediately was drawn to the beach. It was a sandy beach without fear of rocks. Other little children were sprinkled across it, but to my chagrin, I didn’t realize that Apache Lake doesn’t have limits on boat noise. Believe me that these speed boats was very loud!

If you’re looking for a quiet, peaceful place, this is not it. Also, this place is close to Apache Junction and some of the locals were obviously here. The man with the loud radio, also played it at 1AM. I was just glad we could fall back asleep. By the second night when he was playing the radio again at 2AM, Donna went over to yell at him. The next morning we complained to the Forest Service Ranger who asked him to leave the camp immediately.

Moreover, we did get to do some fishing, but most spots were too choppy from the boats or too shallow. Claire and I walked down the trail to the north side of the camp and found some rocks that dropped of into the lake where she proceeded to reel in a 10″ small mouth bass within minutes. I shot several photos and then tried to catch myself one, but after about an hour we gave up. I was concerned about killing and gutting the fish in front of her, but I wasn’t about to sugar coat it. I was being honest with her, and gutted the fish together, and Mama picked us up.


We spent three days camping here, and I am not about to run back there, but we sure did have a nice time, met some nice people (with a daughter Claire’s age), swam each day, got too much sun, played cards, ate smores, and took naps.

ASU Stiffs Obama, Claims Too Inexperienced For Honorary Degree, or Michael Crow is an idiot.

April 10, 2009 By: nooccar Category: Politics

Ok my goat’s in a bind here. Look, I chose to move to Arizona. WE chose to live here, and I chose to give Arizona State University too much money for my doctoral work but I am really embarrassed right now. We were stoked to here President Obama is the commencement speaker this year, and I have a few friends who will graduate. I even considered groveling for tickets. Today I hear that he is not being awarded an honorary degree from ASU! This man has an honorary degree from Notre Dame. What does ASU have that ND doesn’t have? Porn obsessed drunk Playboy junkies? Come on!

According to Sharon Keeler, ASU Media Relations Director, those awards are for “achievements of eminence”. Really? Come on, Sharon. You’re an idiot. Talk about the President of the free friggin’ world and the first black at that not achieving greatness?! What about bring the first black president of the Harvard Law Review? How about the grass roots campaign that raised millions of dollars to help OUR country?! How about writing two best sellers!? Not enough, still?

According to the ASU State Press (reported in Huffington Post), ASU President Michael Crow told the committee that “significant contributions to education and society over the course of a person’s career merit consideration for an honorary degree.” Crow, you’re an idiot, too. You’ve been screwing up ASU for too long now. When I started taking classes there, you could take a class for about a grand. You don’t even want to know how much that costs now!

Let’s talk about some of the real reasons Sharon and Mike have their heads shoved up their…. well, let’s just talk about the reasons. 1# John McCain. The crotchety old republican sucks. He’s so damn wishy-washy. I remember a decade ago that I could admit to liking the man, and then he started bending over for Bush. This is a McCain state (even though you almost lost it, you idiot.) 2# Mormons. Now don’t get me wrong, I know some cool cool Mormons. Most are students who are learning how to be realistic Americans, but there are some idiots there. When you have as much money as they do, you can buy whatever you want (e.g. Prop 102 in AZ and Prop 8 in CA. And don’t even deny it!) Obama doesn’t play that game and wouldn’t let you control him, so you don’t show him the love. 3# Because ASU is racist. How many black people have honorary degrees from there? Count them. Do it. Let me know. 4# Because Mike and Sharon SUCK. They’re idiots.


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