Archive for August, 2006

Water fountains

August 30, 2006 By: nooccar Category: Claire

Every Sunday I bowl in a league. I know, you’re rolling your eyes and making Jeff Foxworthy jokes right now, but I seriously do. And I think there are only a dozen or so guys who look like that in the league of 120+. But this night Claire didn’t want to sit quietly in her stroller while I bowled, and Donna let her run up and down between the teams in her little purple clogs and scuffed knees. But it was this night that she noticed the water fountain, and coincidentally it was about 30 inches from the ground, which put it at perfect chest heighth for her. She pressed her pudgy little fingers against the bar releasing a spray of water out in an arc into the basin where spit accumulated with chewed, pallid, flavorless Bubblicious. She giggled and shoved her face under the stream, as all I could do was watch and laugh. She took a few long drinks and then I dragged her away. A friend later was watching her and they both went back to the fountain. After I threw my ball, I saw Claire smiling with cold fountain water all down the front of her denim dress. SHe just laughed and enjoyed the water.

Then yesterday at day care, I picked her up and she was wearing a skin tight multi-colored shirt that rode up above her belly button, which she proudly displayed to everyone. I asked where her nice new shirt was that Momma dressed her in that morning, and they just shrugged. Today I went in and her regular day care lady apologized about the shirt and handed it to me. It was slightly dirty looking, but still discernably white.

She said that Claire played outside all day and obsessively guarded the water fountain. I asked her "what waterfountain?" And the proceeded to show me a small 30" off the ground fountain on the side of the playground.

"Yes, your daughter stands by and guards it. Anytime anyone else comes near it, she punches them."

And I just looked at my little darling in her crop top too small with her belly poking out, punching little kids and eating her boogies, and I think that before I know it, she too will be bowling in my league.

Peanut, Peanut Butter, and Jelly**

August 29, 2006 By: turtlegirl Category: Adams, Claire, Parenthood

Yesterday I was fuming about the new TSA regulations.  Not because rules attempt to keep our world safe, but because of the outrageous inconsistencies on their list.  You cannot take a unopened bottle of water on the plane that you purchase between the security line and the gate, but you can pack a four-inch blade in your carry-on luggage!  You can wear a gel-filled bra or take KY Jelly (both specifically listed as permitted items), but you cannot pack instant hand sanitizer!  Who made up this list? 

I was greatly perturbed because my 16 month old daughter will not be able to eat or drink for eight hours unless I agree to feed her something unhealthy and sugary.  I actually sent the TSA a page long email to clarify many of the discrepancies on their list and to ask what I am to do about my daughter.

The one thing I had figured out (and by-the-way it was not listed on the "Prohibited and Permitted Items" list, but instead in the "Travelling with Children" section), was that jarred baby food was allowed.  So, even though Claire is way beyond pureed mush, I plan to pack a ton of it. 

Because I was all hopped up on the topic, and packing at the same time Claire was hungry, I decided to let her eat a jar of corn and sweet potatoes.  I grabbed a bowl, poured it in, and handed her a spoon.  I continued packed and fuming . . .

A minute later, I hear the bowl clacking, and though "ug, she did it again".  Turning toward the high chair, I confirmed my fear in seeing my daughter dump the entire bowl onto the highchair.  Well, I guess it could have been worse if it were her lap.

I took the bowl away and allowed her to play with the soupy-like food.  She was trying to pick it up and lick it off her hands and I figured, "at least she is learning".  Devon came into the room and was talking to me about something when we both heard a loud "SLUUUUUUURP".  We both whisk around to see Claire sucking the food off the highchair.  She realizes were watching, looks up, and smiles, forehead to chin covered in orange-glowing sweet potato madness.  It drips off her chin onto her bib.  She leans in for more.  I point Devon to the camera and he takes a few pictures.



After a while I clean up the tray and hand Claire a wipey (she likes to help).  Busy, I hand her a rice cake to chew on while I finish another task.  After a few minutes I grab a piece of the rice cake and spread peanut butter on it.  Disappearing for another few minutes, I return to find the rice cake gone – and, mysteriously, not on the floor.  Claire gives me the ‘all-done’ symbol.  I say, "no, not all done, just all gone.  mommy will get more for you".  I put a ball of peanut butter on the tray, thinking that if she plays with it, eventually it will become food and I’ll get her to eat more.  Win-win, right? 

The peanut butter is a hit!  She calls for more soymilk.  I get a kiddie spoon and give her more.  Refusing it at first, I shove it in her mouth, quickly realizing that she can’t really get it out once it is in there.  Hmm, a mom revelation.  Instant protein treat.  Over time, I give her two more kiddie spoonfuls.  Then comes the "who the heck is going to clean my kid off?" moment.  I briefly consider letting the dog in the house.  Their tongues are clean, right?  I change my mind, strip her down, and give her a shower.  Squeaky clean and ready for bed, we play for a few minutes, then nighty-night kisses and lights out.

Good-night baby girl.  Thanks for a good end to the day!

**Lyrics to this song.


August 24, 2006 By: nooccar Category: House

I’m in a funk. I bet it’s because of the house. There’s no room that’s not in complete shambles. Donna pulled a Tom Sawyer on me Sunday and had me paint the baseboards in the livingroom. Who paints livingroom baseboards? I guess I do. I realize they may have not been painted since my wife was born, but why me? The couch was upside down in the livingroom for a few days, I need to turn sideways to get past the file cabinet into the bedroom, and the turtle shares all personal bathroom experiences with us now. I’m in a funk that may just last until the cabinets are installed in the garage or until George, the turtle, takes his fishy friends and moves his tank himself into the spare room.

Phone couch

August 23, 2006 By: turtlegirl Category: Miscelany, Work

The other day my co-worker returned from a trek across campus with a funky orange couch.  No, not a large piece of furniture to sit on, a phone couch.  Cingular was on campus marketing their services, and this was one of their promotional items.  I had to have one.  Just having returned from another part of campus, I stated that I didn’t want to walk out again in the 110+ heat.  My co-worker called in a favor and 15 minutes later, my couch was delivered!  Now it sits next to my keyboard, my cellphone nestled between its arms.  Everytime I look at it, I smile.  Who ever thought a funky orange couch would bring about such happiness?

Not her father’s daughter…

August 22, 2006 By: turtlegirl Category: Adams, Claire, Leisure, Parenthood

This past weekend was hectic and eventful.  We did not finish all the rearranging in the house and probably won’t for another two weeks.  Although Devon wanted me to continue working on the house while he attended the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, Claire convinced me that it should be a night of relaxation.  She had finished her dinner, but was interested on everything on my plate.  I distracted her during the main part of my meal, but let her join me for chips and queso.  At first, I lightly dipped a small chip in the cheese sauce and touched it to her lips.  I was worried it would be too spicy…  Claire’s little eyes perked up; she grabbed a bigger chip, scooped a ton a cheese, then bit into the chip.  She then took the smaller piece that was left, dipped it again, this time dipping most of her hand into the cheese as well.  After successfully licking MOST of it off, she went after another chip.  This time she realized it would be easier to dip the chip and lick of the cheese then re-dip the chip for more cheese (the chip just gets in the way apparently).  Knowing this new trick would greatly disturb Devon, I allowed her to continue.  I bet Devon flinches as he reads this, imagining and the ice cream cones to be shared in the future…


August 21, 2006 By: turtlegirl Category: Miscelany

My mother-in-law sent me the following joke, which I felt compelled to post.

A man died and went to Heaven.  As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.  He asked, "What are all those clocks?"St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks.  Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock.  Every time you lie the hands on your clock move.""Oh", said the man.

"Whose clock is that?""That’s Mother Teresa’s", replied St. Peter.  "The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.""Incredible", said the man. 

"And whose clock is that one?"St. Peter responded, "That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock.  The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.

"Where’s Bush’s clock?" asked the man."Bush’s clock is in Jesus’ office.  He’s using it as a ceiling fan."

John Frusciante’s my own personal guitar rock idol

August 21, 2006 By: nooccar Category: Reviews

Dan and I became best friends in college when he asked me if I’ve ever seen Tarantino’s Balls. I was a young 20 year old and he was much taller and a little older. It was more of the heyday of the Internet, back when I had to dial in and used Eudora for DOS on a floppy. When I had an old NEC computer in my apartment and lived with two lesbians. Of course that night I met Dan I was wearing a pink shirt (which mind you, I still do – with pride) and the girl who introduced us assumed I was also gay. Anyway, it turned out that Tarantino’s Balls was a website based on the director and, through our quirkiness, we became fast friends.

Over the last decade we added wives and daughters to our mix and interests as well. We both love Douglas Coupland and other such artists (Dan read Girlfriend in a Coma before me) and music. He’s way more into music that I’ll ever be and we share a love for LIVE and Red Hot Chili Peppers. In college Dan called me one day and asked me what I was doing that evening. I said nothing and he came, picked me up, and dragged me to The Spectrum in Philly to see the Chili Peppers. We were squished against the stage within feet of Anthony Keidis and Dave Navarro and I didn’t see RHCP since.

Honestly, I wasn’t thrilled with going to Glendale Arena to see the Chili Peppers Monday night, but I jump at chances to spend with Dan these days. So we road out to Glendale through the rain storms. While standing near the concessions waiting for Mars Volta to (for the sake of everything holy) stop singing, we argued about who was the best Chili Peppers guitarist. I always liked Dave, but Dan loved John Frusciante. I didn’t realize at the time that I had never seen John in concert and I was hesitant. BUT I’d just like to say John Frusciante is now one of my favorite guitarists ever!

From the time they took the stage until the final Flea/John duet at the end of the encore, John made love to his guitar and I rocked, swayed, and jammed. Half the time I closed my eyes and let the music just pour over me in waves of staccato desire mixed with pure heat. I just wanted to eat the music and breathe it. John passed Dave and Daniel Ash as two of my favorite guitarists and holds that special guitar rock idol place in my heart.

Thanks, Dan.


August 18, 2006 By: turtlegirl Category: Claire, Parenthood

Claire picked up her toy phone earlier tonight and put it to her ear.  Turning to her, I asked "Who’s calling?".  She puts the phone to my ear so that I can find out.  I say "Hello.  How are you?".  Claire quickly returns the phone to her ear to finish the conversation.  Not hearing the imaginary caller, Claire takes the phone away from her ear, looks at it, puts it back, then, clearly frustrated, gives it back to me.  I continue my fake call, asking "How was work today?  Did you have a good day?".  Wondering why this caller is only talking to me, Claire takes the phone and puts it to her ear.
Confusion sets in.  She looks at the phone again.  She shakes it.  She puts it back to her head.  I ask her some probing communications-related questions.  She attempts to make this work one last time.  She hands me the phone, but this time, as soon as I start talking, she grabs the phone and reluctantly tosses it to the ground, as if saying "Well, if I can’t talk to them, then neither can you!"


August 17, 2006 By: turtlegirl Category: Adams, Leisure, Miscelany

Being a girl, I love shoes.  Being a type A person, I want to try them on MY way.  I hate going into certain stores and not being able to WALK in the new shoes because they are tied together.  At Target, the shoes are connected by a stretchy band that lets you separate your feet by about a foot.  I’m 5’10" and my stride is almost three feet long.  Stretchy bands do not make me happy.  At Kohls, the shoes are tethered by a cable tie and you cannot get both shoes on at the same time because feet are naturally further apart than the shoes.  So I stopped looking in their shoe department…

Luckily there are places that allow your feet the freedom to experiment.  It is there that I prance, stride, squat, stretch, smell, savor and peruse.  I bought a really PRETTY pair about three weeks ago that I knew I wouldn’t be able to wear (too high).  Two weeks ago, I returned the shoes.  I’ve since bought five other pairs while looking for replacements.  (All at stores that allow feet to express themselves).  Woo-hoo! 

I purchased a silver pair of pumps to go with my new gray wool suit (for the winter); a pair of green suede wedges for a casual skirt that I own and possibily some other outfits; a pair of crazy, embroidered boots, also for the winter season, that could go with black dress pants or jeans; a pair of bronze heels for my brown suits; and a weird orange snakeskin and orange/brown/beige plaid stillettos with a T-strap that I couldn’t resist.

Of course, now I need a place to store all of the shoes. 

Back to the doctor

August 16, 2006 By: nooccar Category: health

I finally got hooked up with a new place to get my meds, and I had an appointment today. I left after work and drove over there to find the place. It’s a lot closer than going up into downtown Phoenix. When I got there at 12:30, the infusion nurse says, "didn’t you get my voicemail?"


The medicine wasn’t delivered and I have to go back Friday. Now, remember. I premedicate with Benadryl, so by the time I made it to the office I was groggy. This wasn’t a good thing. So I left, drove 20 miles back to work for an afternoon meeting, and could barely make my way through the office. I ended up in the nurses office where she let me sleep it off in the back corner behind some curtains for an hour.

I haven’t slept on the nurses cot since ’93 when I’d hate a class or not have my homework and go to the nurse’s office to hide. What memories…

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